gimmick

About few years back I opened up commissions at DA:Lampton. Except back then I had no real idea how to do this properly and made a lot of mistakes. First mistake was that I didn't know what "slots" where, and second, I charged way too little for a lot of my work.

To put it simply I bit off more than I can chew.

So because of all that I got maybe over 10 requests, and some people asked a lot out me. One girl asked for two full colored illustrations with minimum of two characters in each one. It must sound like easy piece but to me...

I could hardly draw ONE person that's fully colored.

Then there was also this thing called "bad timing". By the time I finished my first few commissions I got other people asking me to do work for them which had dead lines. The first one required me to do 10 pages of fully colored illustrations for an online book. That took months and it pretty much killed the PC. After that one, some lady paid me to help her with her fantasy-Christian? book about Jesus, and that just killed me.

I mean...that book. So. Awful. To the point where your brain denies everything logical about life so it makes it harder for you to be able to draw anything.

Theeen the most recent one I had to do was for this guy who wanted me to do renderings of some amusement park for a possible...amusement park, I guess. I think I had to do about 6 of them and each one took me forever.

Of course I was able to to few more commissions from DA, but now I'm just sick of it. I have few sketches ready to ink and color but I can't get myself to finish them. Besides it's already been years since I took them up on the offer.

I could only blame my stupidity and laziness but since I required them not to pay me until I'm done with their piece, I'm thinking of simply quitting. I'll have to apologize to them all and it kills me to do this. This only makes me feel that I'm not really cut out for art jobs.

So to anyone reading this who have commissioned me back in DA, I'm so, so very sorry. Hopefully next time I'll know better. But right now I have comics to do and some personal art I've promised myself to finish.

I've been wanting to watch "UP" since...forever, but I decided to wait till half of the most annoying American kids have all went and watched it so I can avoid their constant screaming in theater.

Damn, I can't wait. It's like someone knew what I love about life, took them, and crammed it all into Golden Graham*.

( How I spent my first day of June )

So pretty much, that's the only awesome thing that has happened to me since 2009 began. So far this year has been like 5 garbage trucks continuously dumping awful things about life on me every freaking day.

Just let me have a moment here.

--------------------------------------

EDIT:

[21:22] Night Fagger: making it great, cramming it into one golden graham
[21:22] Prince of Jew: ...oh so that's how you spell it
[21:22] Prince of Jew: I better fix it
[21:22] Night Fagger: you said gram didn't you
[21:22] Prince of Jew: embarrassing
[21:22] Night Fagger: DIDNT YOU
[21:22] Prince of Jew: YES
[21:22] Night Fagger: GRAM AS IN THE MEASUREMENT?
[21:23] Night Fagger: ALL THAT CRAM INTO SCIENTIFIC MEASURE
[21:23] Night Fagger: THATS BORING YUKI
[21:23] Night Fagger: NO KID WANTS TO EAT THAT

Who cares, they're just some fucking cereal. No one can see why kids love it anyway, GOD.

I just deleted 85% of my old entries I had on this LJ. So, so painful. My poor wrists....

I also went ahead and deactivated tons of accounts I had which I no longer use, and I'm also thinking of deleting some online galleries. It's just too hard to keep up with everything and I need to start a new life.

...new life...on the internet.

Of course, I think I'll also delete more entries on this LJ when I stop hurting.

Emily and I are hoping to get ourselves a website that we both can share, but we can't decide on the names. It would really help us if someone would vote on ONE of the names they like the most.
Credit goes to Emily for the last two names.



Vote in my poll!

And remember, you can only pick one.

Happy Belated Halloween, everyone. I hope you guys had a great time!

I was once talking to Emily who's been complaining about drawing backgrounds, which we all gather together as a family to hate. She told me her process of how she draws them out so I promised her to show how I do it, too.

So, here they are Emily: ( Yuki's way of Perspective drawing(?) )

Sorry, the picture and drawing quality is terrible, but I kept my promise. I'm so amazing, and my nails need trimming.

I came up with new emoticon that I'll be using forever: \(^q^)/
It's drooling and in my case, it's mostly blood.

For example; Last night instead on working on my temp art work, I dedicated my time passing out for 18 hours \(^q^)/
Seriously, body. Why? Why you do this to me.

And if someone else already came up with this icon, I'll have to kill them. All 15 million of them.

( Comic - Bad Commission )

うん。いいんじゃない？


I still can't get myself to feel like talking. Just overwhelming laziness taking over my soul, I guess. Oh, and that nothing awesome had been going on.

I'm in a major art slump. I mean yeah, I always have been but this feels like serious business. The things I used to have the easiest time on is now impossible. The things I had the hardest time on is causing cancer.

It's already been three days now, trying to start on this stupid sketch commission that should be Ho-Hum easy, but it's not. I don't know how many papers I've wasted on my fruitless struggle. What is wrong with me.

Also, I have an art job and it's been months just working on stupid concept sketches. I've finally sent the man my another attempt at fixing few sketches after his confusing note on exactly what he wants. I have to do 5, fully painted renderings of whatever he's been asking me to do, all by November and I'm still on concept. Sketches.

And tonight I'm still trying on finishing these commissions again but I have this weird sensation running through my everywhere. It literally feels like spider webs are wrapped around my spine. Too bad I'm too damn lazy to get myself a knife to dig them out.

+ And now, Things To Do List:
- 10 more commissions\(^o^)/
- 5 Fully painted renderings? Things.
- Mother Respecting Beyond Battle for VOID
- Battle with Eliza
- Stop crying

Ahh...writing about my frustration really does feel good<3

Eric ran me over.


Aside from work, I've been having great time in Orlando. Eric visited Emily and me, and I've also made few friends at work (it's too bad they'll be going home in few days). This is so old and gay to say, but I actually feel young. Back in Reno I had absolutely zero friends because I honestly didn't want to even try making any and it's hard for me to even have decent time with a lot of people in general. I'm just this one hated, lonely little nerd thing that everybody hates. And I'm just really, really bad with people. I hate people.

So, being able to have friends again is fucktastic. I forgot how it's like to go out with someone who can actually understand your sense of bad humor. It's even better when they all think I'm "hilarious" or "witty", while in reality, I'm a boring little fuck.

Anyway though I have more to rant about my work, I'm just going to soil Jisuk's teen-meme.

( Chlidhood~Adulthood: totally accurate! )

AND I'm going to New York right after I finish working at Disney. AHHHH SOOO SEXCITED AHGHHH FUNGH!

Emily called in sick for me since I completely lost my voice yesterday. She even bought me lunch/breakfast at Wendy's. All I could do to talk to her was by writing down on this notebook I got from Miko. We spent most of our day writing and doodling.

I still can't talk at all, but I'm going to work. It'll be really interesting when guests starts asking me questions and all I'll be able to do is stare at them.

( meme: Tagged by Jisuk )

I'm still here working as custodian at Disney World, Epcot. Spring Break just hit so it's going to be hellish here and we're only getting one day off each week until the end of March, maybe, which is insane to me. Why the hell won't these idiot guests just stay home and watch MTV instead of coming here to Disney World. Honestly, the more I work here, the more ugly and retarded every single guests become in my mind (except they are for real).

And I've been sick for a while and today I finally lost my voice. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to work without talking to any guests.

Anyway, today was a good day since it was my day off. Some of my custodial friends and I all decided to go to Magic Kingdom and then have lunch back at Epcot, World Showcase, and it was grand.

At Magic Kingdom, my friends wanted to ride at Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain, to which I've been really nervous about for few days. I am not a fan of thrilling rides and I never will be. Last time when Eric came to visit Emily and I at Disney World he swore to God that Tower of Terror is not at-fucking-all scary. I actually trusted his stupid face and ended up crying. I'm serious...I cried.

AND THEN today, my friends have been telling me that the roller coasters at Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain is not scary at all, either. In fact, get this, they even swore to me that their dying grandmothers who's afraid of moving shopping carts could ride on it 5 times without seeing God. And dear God, I wish he would've taken my soul right before I even trusted them.

( My Ride Experience )

Good. Times.

The only ride I actually enjoyed to my fullest was the Teacup ride. We also rode on ..that.."It's a Small World" ride(?), where I ended up falling asleep.

Oh god my throat.

My room mates just left so now's my time to party with porn and booze (Discovery Health and soymilk wtf nerd).

Okay so, Emily and I made it to Orlando, Florida. God.

So far my days here in Orlando are fine and dandy. I don't really converse or make friends around here like all the other peppy, cheerful and Disneytastic people who lives around me, but I seem to do just fine with Emily. She is...awesome. [hand movements]

Anyway so as I was too embarrassed to share before, I decided to go through Disney College Program and work my ass off as custodian (janitor). The area I work at is Epcot, Future World, and god how it sucks. I honestly don't mind working if I didn't have to be so horrible at my job, though I think I'm getting used to things bit by bit. I mean, I can fucking fix paper jams for paper towel dispenser.

SKILLZ, ladies. Skillz.

( Disney Custodial Costume )

Edit: Oh and I finally got "stable" internet connection here, but I doubt I'll be online to chat too often. Also I won't be able to give off my mailing address anytime soon because I plan on moving again into the same apartment complex as Emily.

And I realized I just bought myself vanilla soymilk instead on plain. Fuuuck.... only chicks get vanilla. I hate vanilla.

Uniguns


My headache just won't leave, as always, and I keep having this restless leg syndrome in my spine. Madness. I wish I can have at least 5 maidens who'd sit around me as I lay on my bed, massaging me to sleep, making me some Advil-cocktail. Mmfmfm<3

A little fun (only for me). "Creating a Tridimentional Character" sheet from VOID:

( Crick here for sheet:Sergio (Campanella) Pancrazio )

Luke <3 Yuki-chanz
Paint is such an awesome software...


I slept so much today. So-...that's all I do, really, lately. Ever since school ended I've let myself go.

And since I practically do nothing, there is absoluetly nooothing to talk about. This whole entry's purpose was for you, Luke<3

Nhn...oh. I'm so angry at Kellog's Keebler's cookie elves tonight. I always am whenever I see those bastards on our screen, making cookies all day long. Even if I'm wrong I'm not caring much, but once in one of their commercial, one of the elderly elf told the others to keep making more cookies so they can prove to the world that elves does exist.

What the hell.

How does making cookies prove to the humans that these elflings really do exist. The first thing that comes to my mind when I eat any cookies are, "Wow, unicorns are real". Not "Well whaddaya knooow, elves dooo exist! ".

This entire concept gets even more stupider, because they are ALWAYS HIDING IN THAT DAMNED TREE in the middle of nowhere. I don't understand how this is going to make their existance more obvious.

And they're gay. Those sick bastards. They're always having some sort of rainbow shooting out of their tree hole, which is like a filthy homoerotic joke.
(Oh and Luke got the coolest SN: homohatingKKK)

Oh my god. It's so amazing how these tiny creatures can make me so..angry. I don't care if I'm wrong about this.


and here's that elf that I was talking about:

For Laura. Bird guys with one dude who has fake legs and genderless.
Watercolored.


Today I turned in this project for a ctritique in my painting class. No one liked it. It was too small, too anime, too based on pop culture, and too cliche. For my drawing class, I only got something positively not positive about my project. I'm not bothered by it, since I understand why they wouldn't like it, but I can honestly say that I'm glad I won't have to go through with working with art projects for another few weeks.

I'm so tired. I'm so tired that this galic-breath like aroma is around me which makes every 6 senses of anger makes me feel more angry about this smell. Today hasn't been that much of a good day. It wasn't bad, but there was this "sense" to it that made me feel cold, exhaulsted, and down. I miss my friends so, SOOO much.

Though, I guess you can say I've made some new friends. I have at least two to four people that I can talk to in each of my classes, but I don't know if I can actually call them "friends" because we're not that close. They're just another one of those class buddies that you can conveniently chit chat and make few jokes with like British gentlemen. It would be lovely if I can make new best friends in Reno but I can be too picky.

But I do love the fact that I have an Asian friend. For some reason, whenever I meet an asian girl, she'd always want to feed me. I think it's that inner over-protective asian mothery-ness inside every oriental estrogen that makes them want to give food to me. Last time at TMCC, this asian girl gave me all of her sesame rice cakes, and in UNR, Kat wanted to bring me a cake from her house (but forgot. Emperor Yuki is not pleased). To every Asian girl's eyes, I must seem like this poor little baby boy in a puddle of mud, trying to forget his hunger by chewing on bamboo sticks as his dead mother's arm is around him, who tried to brest feed him before she, too, died of hunger.

Even if I'm this disgustingly obese guy who's feasting on two other obese guys (I'm so offensive to canniblas out there), that is how they would all see me as and offer me thier motherly love in a form of food. Mmmmf...<3

.....

Okay, I better go study for Archaeology and go to bed.